My little sister just got accepted to her dream school. $73,000 per year. She's ecstatic. My parents are crying with joy. I'm doing math and trying not to vomit.
Four years = $292,000. With student loan interest over 10 years, she'll pay back $380,000. For a communications degree. Starting salary in communications? $38,000.
I pulled her aside. "You're about to pay $380,000 to make $38,000. Would you take that deal if college wasn't involved?" She looked at me like I was speaking Mandarin. "But it's college," she said. "Everyone goes to college."
That's the problem. Everyone goes to college. Nobody does the math.
The ROI That Would Make Warren Buffett Weep
Let's talk return on investment. You know, that thing every other investment gets measured by except college.
Average private college: $55,000/year x 4 = $220,000. Average starting salary for graduates: $55,000. Time to break even: Never, after interest.
Compare that to alternatives: Trade school for electrician: $20,000 total. Starting salary: $56,000. Coding bootcamp: $15,000. Starting salary: $75,000. Real estate license: $3,000. Average income: $49,000. Starting a pressure washing business: $5,000. Potential: $100,000+.
My plumber charges $150/hour and didn't go to college. My barber makes $85,000 and went to trade school for six months. My friend with a master's in psychology makes $42,000 and owes $147,000.
If college was a stock, it would be Enron. If it was a crypto, it would be Luna. If it was any other investment, you'd run away screaming. But because it's education, we call it "investing in yourself" and ignore the math.
The Compound Interest Nightmare
Student loans aren't just debt – they're compound interest working against you for decades.
Borrow $100,000 at 7% interest. Standard 10-year repayment: $1,161/month. Total paid: $139,000. That's $39,000 in interest, or a 39% markup on your education.
But most people can't afford $1,161/month on starting salaries. So they do income-driven repayment. 20 years later: Total paid: $185,000. Interest alone: $85,000. You paid for college twice.
Meanwhile, if you invested that $1,161/month for 10 years at 7% returns instead: $193,000. The opportunity cost isn't just the loan payments – it's what those payments could have become.
My colleague has been paying student loans for 15 years. Original balance: $70,000. Current balance: $68,000. She's paid $45,000 and owes almost the same amount. That's not a loan; that's indentured servitude with a graduation ceremony.
The Degree Inflation Nobody Admits
In 1970, 11% of adults had college degrees. Today, 38% do. The value of anything increases with scarcity and decreases with abundance. Degrees are abundant. Their value has cratered.
Jobs that required high school in 1990 now require bachelor's degrees. Not because the job changed, but because employers can demand it. When everyone has a degree, nobody has an advantage.
My dad was a bank manager with a high school diploma. Today, that job requires a master's. The job hasn't gotten more complex. Excel does the math now. But degree inflation means you need six years of college to do what high school graduates did better 40 years ago.
It's an arms race where everyone loses except colleges. They keep raising prices because demand never drops. We keep paying because we think we have no choice. It's a perfect scam.
The Skills That Actually Pay
While universities teach theoretical knowledge, the market pays for practical skills. And most of those skills aren't taught in college.
Sales: No college teaches real sales, but salespeople out-earn most graduates. Coding: Free online, bootcamps, or self-taught beats most CS degrees. Digital marketing: Changes too fast for college curriculums to keep up. Trades: Plumbing, electrical, HVAC – desperate for workers, paying premium. Entrepreneurship: No degree required, unlimited earning potential.
My highest-earning friends: Real estate agent (no degree), software developer (bootcamp), Amazon FBA seller (YouTube University), contractor (trade school), and OnlyFans creator (I'm not joking, she makes $400k).
My lowest-earning friends with degrees: Teacher with master's ($45k), social worker with MSW ($38k), journalist with journalism degree ($31k), museum curator with art history PhD ($35k).
The correlation between education level and income has completely broken down, but we keep pretending it exists.
The Parent Trap
Parents push college because in their generation, it guaranteed middle-class life. They remember when state college cost $2,000/year and any degree meant a good job.
They don't understand that college costs have risen 1,200% while wages rose 250%. They don't realize their house cost 2x their annual salary while their kid's education costs 5x starting salary. They think they're giving good advice based on outdated data.
My parents insisted on college. "We didn't get to go," they said. "We want better for you." So I went, accumulated $65,000 in debt for a sociology degree, and now make less than my dad did without college. Better?
Parents also co-sign loans they can't afford, raid retirement accounts, and take second mortgages. They're destroying their financial future to fund an education that won't provide returns. It's generational financial suicide disguised as love.
The Geographic Arbitrage Option
American college: $50,000/year. German university (taught in English): $500/year. Norwegian university: Free. Czech university: $3,000/year.
My cousin studied in Prague. Total cost for four years including living expenses: $35,000. She had the Europe experience, speaks three languages, and has zero debt. Her friend went to NYU for $320,000. They work at the same company making the same salary.
Or go extreme: University of the People, fully accredited online degrees for $5,000 total. Western Governors University, $4,000 per six-month term, go at your own pace. Community college then transfer, saving 60% on the degree.
But Americans are obsessed with prestigious schools that provide the same education at 10x the price. Harvard's free online courses have the same content as their $300,000 degrees. The only difference? The piece of paper and the debt.
The Time Value Destruction
College isn't just expensive money-wise – it's expensive time-wise. Four years of college is four years not earning, not building skills, not starting businesses.
Start working at 18, earn $30,000/year. By 22, you've made $120,000, have four years experience, and possibly promotions. Start college at 18, by 22 you have -$100,000 and zero experience.
That's a $220,000 swing before considering compound interest on investments versus loans. The college student needs to out-earn the worker by $55,000/year just to break even by 30.
My brother skipped college, started a lawn care business at 18. By 22, he had 15 employees and was making $150,000. His high school friends graduated with debt and begged him for jobs. Who made the smart choice?
The Mental Health Cost
We don't talk about what student loans do to mental health. The anxiety of $100,000 debt at 22. The depression of payments larger than rent. The relationship stress, the delayed life milestones, the constant fear.
73% of student loan borrowers report mental health issues related to their debt. Anxiety, depression, and even suicidal ideation. We're destroying young people's mental health for degrees that don't even guarantee jobs.
I've been paying loans for eight years. Every month, $743 disappears. That's therapy money, vacation money, emergency fund money. Instead, it goes to Sallie Mae. The psychological weight is crushing.
When College Makes Sense
I'm not completely anti-college. Sometimes it makes sense:
Specific high-paying careers requiring degrees (doctor, lawyer, engineer). Full scholarship or massive financial aid. In-state public school while living at home. Clear career path with guaranteed high income. Community college for specific technical skills. Military paying for it.
But even then, do the math. Doctors graduate with $300,000 in debt. Yes, they make $300,000/year eventually. But they don't start earning until 30, lose a decade of compound interest, and pay massive loans. A plumber who invested from 18 might have more wealth at 50.
The Alternative Path
Here's what I'd tell my 18-year-old self:
Skip traditional college. Learn sales, coding, or a trade. Work and save aggressively. Start a simple business (pressure washing, social media management, tutoring). Invest everything extra in index funds. Buy rental property by 25. Take specific courses for specific skills as needed.
By 30, you'd have assets, income, experience, and no debt. Compare that to the typical college graduate: debt, limited experience, and desperate for any job.
The world changed. Education is free online. Skills matter more than degrees. Entrepreneurship beats employment. But we're still following 1950s advice in 2024.
The Uncomfortable Truth
College has become a luxury good marketed as a necessity. It's a Rolex sold as a Timex. It's a Ferrari priced trip to the grocery store.
Universities know this. That's why they spend millions on gorgeous campuses, athletic facilities, and amenities. They're not selling education; they're selling an experience. An experience that costs more than a house and delivers less than YouTube.
The college system is broken. Costs are unsustainable. Quality is declining. Alternatives are emerging. The bubble will burst. The question is: will you be holding the debt when it does?
My sister ended up going to state school, living at home, working part-time. Total cost: $40,000. Still expensive, but not life-destroying. She's not at her dream school, but she won't have nightmare debt.
Your education is important. Your financial future is more important. Don't sacrifice the second for the illusion of the first. College isn't what it used to be. Stop pretending it is.
The best investment you can make in yourself doesn't require student loans. It requires Google, discipline, and the courage to reject what everyone else is doing. That's the real education. And it's free.